Imposter Syndrome

April 14, 2018

Ahh, yesterday flew by without my writing this blog post. It is probably still Friday somewhere though, right? Australia is generally ahead of the timezone gang. 


Something I'm realising more and more is how many creatives, myself definitely included, feel like imposters when switching to a "professional" label as opposed to "hobby". I guess for so many of us, this is something we've been doing since we were little kids, never expecting money, and so now we are trying to compete in this amazing but tough world of being a creative entrepreneur in order to do what we love for a living. Maybe its also because of the amount of self-doubt present in the creative industries, and so we're never sure how we fit when compared to others. Social media (as is so often the case) probably isn't helping either in that it displays a constant reel of amazing work done by people putting on a "my life and career are always like this" persona.


But really, we see these people that seem to be succeeding and we therefore think "I'm not like that", which can lead to "My career position is less successful" which can lead to "I'm not in this enough... I'm pretending to be", and hey presto, we feel as though we are imposters because we're not comfortable full time successful creatives. 


The other issue could be the lack of education, not necessarily surrounding the creative aspect of being a creative, but the business side. I have had trouble with figuring out how to set up my business, needing to be insured for certain public events, being told my sole trader status meant I couldn't do some things, wondering how to do my taxes as my own business, etc. It has brought me to tears and countless hours scrolling government websites. I have felt like a fraud when prospective clients ask for things and I don't know what they want, but am made to feel like I should. (don't worry, sometimes it's them not knowing how it works!)


I guess it will be a struggle because we don't have business advisors, we haven't learnt through apprenticeships or with business mentors, we all start at different times and start so small when also trying to present ourselves as capable and professional, therefore knowledgable. 


But don't worry about seeming dumb. Ask questions, as what businesses ask for from you may not be necessary. If you're getting by without a certain insurance you've never heard of, you may not require it! And be confident in what you do, the illustrations you draw, the music you make, the writing you type up each night. If this is good stuff, and makes you feel good, then it's worth getting through the bad stuff when you are unsure. For me, I am definitely unsure with the money side and contracts, etc. An agent would really be nice!!!!


Anyway, enough rambling. I was recently sent my tiny bit of wood to start on my Collingwood Gallery exhibition piece, so I am excited to start that soon. I still need an idea.. I have one but I'm not sure I want to use it on a canvas so small) and am also awaiting a publisher's email soon about a story I will illustrate. It's also STILL hot here (consecutive above 30 degrees celsius days) and I just want to be able to go for a walk at noon without burning my pup's paw pads (and me not melting).


I've also been working on a book cover lately - can you tell what novel it is?





That brown squiggle in the last picture is going to be a person, um, obviously!!! 


I'll leave it therefore today and go out and try to be the person I want to become, not an imposter but an ... improver? Yeah. 




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